Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 Survey

An old, old tradition of mine. Like... since 2005 old.

What did you do in 2011 that you've never done before? 
Danced in finals at MIT.
Danced silver.
Bought a car.
Got a real job and even raised my own salary!
Acted like an introvert.
Drove from GA to PA by myself.
Graduated from college (!!!).
Frequented a bar (salsa nights!).
Legit job.

Did you keep your New Year's resolution and will you make one for this year? 
I made no resolution.
2012: Just do it. Stop waiting.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Becky Watlington, Christy Martsolf, Amanda Tingle, Adele Cole, Alysia Watkins.

Did anyone close to you die?

Did anyone close to you get hitched?
Sarah and Matt Martin
Arden and Mary

What countries did you visit? 
This question pains me.

What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?
MIT Weekend
First week in March (a vague, blurred, but deeply etched time)

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Have a legit answer to "what countries did you visit?".

What's your biggest achievement this year? 
My undergraduate Honors Thesis.
1st Semester Out of College intact (mostly)
Being there for my siblings as best as I could.
Elements Apprenticeship.
Word Parties.

Biggest failure?
Belief that I was constantly failing.
Not telling the truth. Or not telling it soon enough.

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
First ER trip of my life and morphine dose. Hello Kidney Stone.
Wisdom Teeth: The Gourd Face

What was the last thing you bought?
Wide legged dance pants. I'm aiming to become a Westie.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gretchen. Jennifer. Isaac.

Where did most of your money go?
Food, rent, car, dance.

What did you really get excited about? 
Ballroom 24/7.
Thesis writing.
Working with Calvary Elements.
Whim Cotty.

What song will remind you of 2011?
"We Found Love in a Hopeless Place"
"Stand By Me" and other various constantly replayed salsa night favorites.
The entirety of "Recovery" by Jeremy Casella, especially, "Born Again". In fact, let's just go ahead and say that "Recovery" as the album of the year in my life from March on.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? 
A stupid question. Emotions are not measurable in this dichotomy.
In my own scale, I feel what it is to have seen what one is so afraid of seeing.
And somehow becoming more rooted than before.
Grateful. Not because I am happy, but because... well... because I'm not alone.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Speaking my mind.
Going to poetry readings.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being afraid.
Those two go hand in hand.

What was your favorite TV show?
Downton Abbey
Bachelor/Bachelorette (it was all about the community, ya know?)

What were the best books you read? 
"Walking on Water" by L'Engle
"Body", collection of essays
Essays by Annie Dillard.
The essay genre in general was a new Love.

What was your best musical discovery?
Mumford&Sons, driving through a gold summer Lancaster sunset.

What did you want and got? 
Ballroom weekends off of work
A trip to Boston with Fraleigh and Sara to see Vaughn
Samba improvements

What movies did you see in cinema? 
Final Harry Potter (while on oxycodone so I don't remember much)
War Horse

What did you do on your birthday? How old did you turn?
The day of was pretty quiet. A few weeks later, I celebrated quietly with Fraleigh and Sara over carrot cake and champagne.

What one thing would have made this year more satisfying? 
The one thing I wanted, have wanted, will always want, but am learning to accept may never be given.
Learning to accept it and myself and life sooner. 
Learning to be patient with the process of "growing up".

How would you describe your personal fashion?
From the "cannot be bothered" to the extravagent. Eg. safety-pined shoe straps to Ray Rose dance shoes.

What kept you sane?
James and Sam.
Elements planning.
Isaiah over and over and over.
Salsa nights.
Julia Kasdorf.

Who was the best new person you met?
Vaughn Morgan. A wise counselor, friend. "A lot a bit". "Boys are stupid. Girls are crazy."
Mae (not technically "new", but we became friends this year).
Nicolle Maurer.
Steve Cline, adopted little bro.

What was a valuable lesson you've learned?
-Be patient, little one, be patient. You'll grow up as fast as you can. No sense being angry at yourself while you're trying really hard to do what is good and life giving.
-Trying very hard to "be right" is a prison; "the law", as the Bible calls it.


Megan said...

We need to talk.

Because so many of the things you're writing about are things that I'm currently, desperately, trying to struggle through: namely not always calling myself a failure, not constantly beating myself up/being ashamed for being not being perfect, learning to deal with still growing up and not being mad at myself for not having this life thing figured out yet....basically, lots of unnecessary self-anger and perfectionism going on. That I never realized.

But now that I do realize...I want things to change. And I would love to hear your thoughts on this :) and mostly, I'd love to see you again!

Dana Ray said...

We definitely should talk! I remember us being together for the start of these questions in the warmth of early fall semester. Hub lawn, if I remember correctly. Let's continue to share what we've learned/are learning. I;m not done with this lesson yet!